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KING HELL Interview!

KING HELL! comicExclusive Interview with Samwell from King Hell!

ReviewPosse.com staff were lucky enough to score an interview with Samwell from the famous band King Hell, after begging his indulgence at a recent live performance!

While the following questions may seem odd, they were inspired directly from this outlandish band’s live show. Some of these questions were directly prompted from  inquiring minds in the awe-stuck audience; we heard people repeat these questions to themselves over and over. Enjoy the interview, which answers some of the burning questions about this group of Hellions, as well as offers a minor glimpse into Samwell’s psyche.

King Hell Comic Drawing

Interview with Samwell of King Hell:

RP: Your band has a very unique Metal/R&B fusion that rocks in a groove to the left of the mainstream. How do justify this approach to a world expecting mainstream?

KH: We’re incapable of anything mainstream. First off, we don’t have the hair to pull off mainstream-fake-bed-head. Second, being this bent isn’t a lifestyle choice; it’s an orientation. We’re here. We’re weird. Deal with it.

RP: Do you use special picks to get that signature razor-cut guitar sounds?

KH: All of our equipment – picks, instruments, amps – are made of cast iron. And Mötherfökker, our guitarist, actually bronzes his fists every time before playing… I’ve gently mentioned to him that his playing might be smoother if his hands weren’t encased in smoldering, freshly cast metal… but he gets angry and charges me like a bull.

RP: Will we see any ballads with sweet harmonies, like the Bee Gees, from the band?

KH: Absolutely. We’re working on a couple numbers, “You’re The Only One For Me (Because You Indulge My Off-Putting, Very Specific Fetish Involving Industrial Glue, Crotch-less Unitards and Figs)” and “I Just Called To Say That’s Not A Mystery Rash”.KING HELL! Live photo

RP: What are the ultimate goals of King Hell?

KH: Goals? Goals?? Listen, we wouldn’t be a legitimate rock band if we could state articulate goals. But we are fans of the Dr. Doom motivational lecture series.

RP: Do you support charity, aside from family members and roadies?

KH: Oh yes. We run a non-non-profit medical facility, The King Hell Center for the Exploitation of Dubious Diseases. This year, we’re holding our 134th annual Telethon for Children with Spinal Scaminitis. It’s a terrible disorder. The symptoms include pixilation, break-dancing and sideburns. We had one little girl, mutton chops like Lemmy, spinning on her head (sniff). Please, tune in, turn your heart on and your mind off, and give until you’re homeless.

KING HELL! -Samwell

SamWell of King Hell!

RP: Do you have any tour dates planned?

KH: We’re about to embark on our first world tour, including a stop on the International Space Station that will elevate us to the status of rock gods. Gazing down upon the Earth, we will laugh at man’s insignificance compared to us, and perhaps send one of our cast iron guitar picks spinning back down to Earth, where it will lay fiery waste to an unsuspecting metropolis! …Then I think we’re in Sackworth NJ, the next night at Kaptain Keg’s Rok Klub. It’s really up and down on the road. You can see our tour dates at kinghell.net

RP: Why were you chosen to serve the Dark Lord?

KH: We have friends in low places. We went to Harvard in Hell, don’t you know?KingHellLive2

RP: Is it the drummer or the drums that ignite flames?

KH: Both. And the club, and the surrounding neighborhood. We don’t use pyro, we use plastic explosives. Our road crew are all rehabilitated terrorists.

RP: If King Hell ruled the world, would it be merciful?

KH: It depends on how badly behaved you are: atrocious acts will be thoroughly rewarded. But angst “rockers” or any musician tainted by Disney gets a one-way ticket to the planet Tatooine, to be thrown into the Great Pit of Carkoon where they’ll be be digested by the Sarlacc over a thousand years. We’re gonna pee on them too, as they disappear down the Sarlacc’s maw.

RP: Is everyone in the band going to grow an afro ?

KH: See question 1. Maybe if Hair Club for Men runs a Paul Stanley wig special.

RP: Why is Hell getting so popular? Does the band have anything to do with this?

KH: We put a happy face on Hell, and maybe help people rethink whether Heaven is so heavenly. Spending eternity with, say, the Duggar family…all 62 of them banging away on harps… that’s a vision of true Hell. To quote Mark Twain, “Visit Heaven for climate, Hell for company.” We’ll take the company. We can always get a fan.

RP: How would you rate the Plasmatics?

King Hell CDKH: Have you seen the video for “The Damned”? Wendy O. Williams rides on the roof of a bomb-laden school bus until it crashes into a wall of televisions…and lives. That’s a miracle. She should be canonized, along with Lemmy. Let them have 62 kids in Heaven and we might consider it a viable neighborhood.

RP: Do you have t-shirts? Where can I get one?

KH: We do have t-shirts, and they’re gonna be available on our online store at kinghell.net in the next couple weeks. Our original sales strategy of locking them in the Fortress of Solitude in the North Pole to make them more exclusive has, we admit, failed. Not that fans didn’t try to get them. They just all froze to death on the way. We had brainwashed them to get drunk and naked wherever it was “inappropriate”, which, taken literally, includes the Arctic. We’re retooling our conditioning program to be more specific.

RP: Is it true that the band shares a common mother? Is it true you share her with your roadies too?

KH: We share a common Mötherfökker. We threaten to “share him” with any of our roadies who reverts to blowing stuff up for anyone but us.

RP: Are the horns seen on people’s heads at your live shows actual demon horns protruding from the heads of demons, or merely props that the fans wear?

KH: Real people with real demon horns screwed on. It’s required to get through the door, as specified in our contract rider, along with having a herd of bison backstage. Most people are cool with the horns, but there are always a couple complainers. They get a bison screwed to their head.
KING HELL! Live photo 2
RP:
The dual vocalists works well for your music. Are you, in fact, both part of the same singular multi-headed being that only separates for gigs, as some people speculate?

KH: Actually, the reverse. At the height of our set, all of us fuse together to form our mascot Megadevastatorizer – half demon, half even bigger demon. He juggles cars and burning people. Then we bring Voltron on stage and totally wreck him.

RP: And the most frequently submitted question from ReviewPosse .com subscribers is: King Hell, why are you so good?

KH:
We’ll let you in on a secret. Our researchers at King Hell University’s College of Wildly Illegal Chemistry figured out how to express the molecular formula for heroin in musical notes. We recorded this jingle being played on a xylophone of crack-pipes, and have mixed it backwards into all our songs. That’s why you’ve been buying King Hell CDs by the crateload and cramming them up your nose …which would feel terrible if you weren’t totally stoned on our metal. Continue to enjoy our fine King Hell products, music fiends, and we’re sorry about your increasingly capacious nostrils!

We sincerely thank King Hell for the interview, and for not smiting us as they threatened to do if we asked the wrong questions.

Editors Note : Check out King Hell! at their upcoming SXSW appearance and also the King Hell! Mass Encounter© with dates in Boston,MA, Austin,TX and New York, NY.

Visit King Hell! at www.KingHell.net

SamWell - Vocals and Fire
Doc Thompson - Vocals and Smoke
MotherFokker - Guitar and Lightning
Zigabot - Bass and Brimstone
Shille-Lee - Drums and Thunder

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One Response to “KING HELL Interview!”

  1. Joey says:

    we’ve needED a band like King Hell! for a long time Now WE GOT EM!!! King Hell Rock!!!!!!!

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